“It would’ve been nice to get an audition,” mused Count Orlok (Sarah Sherman) during Saturday Night Live’s Weekend Update, sharing their thoughts on Robert Eggers’ 2024 Nosferatu remake.

Referred to only as “Original Nosferatu,” Orlok admitted they liked the movie but couldn’t resist taking a jab at New Nosferatu, played by Bill Skarsgård. “He’s not scary enough,” Sherman quipped through the makeup, likening Skarsgård’s look to “a shirtless Ned Flanders.”

But things really took a turn when “Original Nosferatu” set their sights on Weekend Update host Colin Jost. In true Sarah Sherman fashion, the rest of the segment devolved into a roast session. Jost endured cutting insults about his anatomy, alleged assistant-creeping tendencies, and a supposed coke habit.

The highlight? When Jost, recoiling as Sherman reached for his face, said, “The last thing I need is you sucking on my nose.” Sherman quipped back “Suck on your nose? No thanks, I don’t want to be up all night. Because of the cocaine, Colin.”

It was less an interview with the vampire and more of a bloodbath — but in the best way possible.