American grandparents in earlier generations had many identities, but caregiver was not first among them. Now, “America is in an age of peak grandparenting—particularly grandmothering,” my colleague Faith Hill wrote recently. “A 2022 survey from Deseret News and Brigham Young University found that nearly 60 percent of grandmothers had provided child care for a grandkid, and more than 40 percent saw a grandchild in person at least weekly.”

As grandparents take on more responsibilities of child-rearing for parents who are overextended or can’t miss work, their later years begin to change. People who planned to retire are pushed back into a more active life; grandparents’ relationships with their kids can start to feel transactional or lacking in substance beyond child-care logistics.

Grandparents can be profound sources of closeness, love, and wisdom for kids—just ask any adult who had a close relationship with a grandparent, like I did, and they’ll overflow with stories of sharing ice cream, or getting advice, or sitting in front of an intergenerational classic TV show (my grandmother’s and my favorite was I Love Lucy). But when grandparents take on so much of the child care that they start to reach their breaking point, Faith notes, those bonds can start to strain.

On Grandparenting

Grandparents Are Reaching Their Limit

By Faith Hill

Older Americans might be doing more child care than ever.

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The Happy Art of Grandparenting

By Arthur C. Brooks

I just became a grandfather—and the role holds a lot of lessons for happiness. (From 2023)

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The Unspoken Wedge Between Parents and Grandparents

By Robin Marantz Henig

Each generation has its own norms for parenting. Arguing over the differences can be an emotional minefield. (From 2021)

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